Respect - not a day's work!

Zoom - Let's talk!

Sushmita Sen.

Respect is more important than love.

Hmmm..A lil bit of soul searching and almost total belief surfaced.

For people to be and grow in love, its a prerequisite to respect one another. Sometimes its just not there or it starts to wane, for very many reasons, different at different times. Here are some that came to my mind.

1. When one loses respect for oneself, cant exactly see anyone else being right. When you respect someone, love is a part of it; when you love someone, respect is not always a part of it.
I can identify with this to some extent. Lack of self esteem and self love makes one insecure and very unwilling to trust people. One tries to put on a tough exterior, and is constantly on one's guard. For me, this phase is over, well, it almost is. I feel independent, capable and special. I know i dont have to treat myself badly, i'm not a rag. Even typing this out empowers me:)

2. Being let down, when one has too many expectations, and they're not fulfilled.
Faith and love remain sometimes, but respect, uh-no, not so much. A friend recently said to me, Dont have too many expectations from people, life will look a lot better. Didint seem like much at the time, but its definitey true. it definitely works and is totally possible!

3. One's ego! Ironically enough, I know what this feels like ( for a person with the ego ). There is this air of superiority and invincibility( if its not a real word, u're smart enough to know what i mean), sometimes you think you CANNOT be wrong! Even if you are, there's no way you will accept it.

This can be gotten rid of. Humility! Be humble. Takes time, but its worth the effort. Stop judging people for what you think are their short comings, dont give anyone labels you wouldnt like having yourself. We're all different, but we're still alike, in that we're humans. An open heart and a free mind, unbiased and unprejudiced will lead the way.

Counting down the days

Doubt, sarcasm, guilt, constant ridicule and manic depression. Its not her problem, but she's still trying to help. I wouldnt say she's saving lives but atleast she's not lettin anyone die! She doesnt want to make this about herself, because its not. Its much bigger, more insane, too intense, quite serious and quite trivial at the same time.

She cannot make it go away, its not in her hands. Just when it seems like it is or she starts to believe it is, things slip away. She never gives up on people, people she loves. Adjustments, compromises, sacrifices are an everyday occurrence, they're not exactly selfless at times, cuz she knows and expects something good to come out of it, sometimes. She has patience too, but she's losing grey matter, failing to cope up. She's not helpless, not asking for help. But she wouldnt decline it if someone offers it. She's not exactly living the way she wants to, hoped to or dreamt of. But she's not unhappy.

This is not autobiographical.

Make that call

Speak your mind

Clear the air

Dont let it bother u anymore

You know who you are

Nothin is lost yet

Dont let it

For your sake,

and mine.

Uh..huh..ya!

Friends! Wat do these seven letters signify for me!? Uh I'll keep that for another day. Just get this! I hold my friends in high regard. Friends, one expects to be with u when u need em, even if its just to talk, its mostly that and almost never a huge favor!

Deep down, you know they care too. But when they dont care enough to show you that they care, it doesnt matter at all that they care! When your concern goes unrequited, it just leaves one big gap of sad wonder and pangs of unwantedness!

It just hurts! A lot!

The power of sms!

I've had some of my best realisations, the most amazing thoughts and dreams shared, the most i've opened up and the bestestestest conversations thru sms! Sadly, the most depressing misunderstandings too! Yeah thats right, all cliches and superlatives! It really had been a way for me to connect with so many people in ways I didnt know was possible, I've gotten much closer to people I already know..and have loadsa friends who share my thoughts.I even realised I could be funny!;)



The pitfalls,uh sting! People dont get things the way you intended them to get, you dont either when someone else is doing the talking.Somethings really beautiful start to turn sour! If only there is an orange light, a warning sign which tells u when to stop or slow down or switch to somethin else or just stop! Did i say it already!? Uh..



Turns out there is!You know how your mom always told u, too much is never too good! If you really need to communicate something, and it just has to be done at that very instant, the smses, cheap that they are, are very tempting, but just stop wondering about the change left in your pocket and make a call! Just make a freakin call! Sure, you cant read the call over and over again or save it, but its more personal.Shows you care.So, if u really do care,CALL!



And, my beloved sms, I dont hate you! I just wont rely on you when things mean the world to me and I'm willing to bet the moon on it! Your existence is necessary, maybe even crucial to some.Your power wont fade!:)

Pieces of me..

These are bits of an sms conversation i had with a friend, one night..

"hey somethin went thru my mind two days ago.For the first time, I'm somehow comfortable with everything.
Remember the time, you were tellin me you felt like bein with someone..and I said, I do too..Well, it kinda sunk in that I cant be me all the time with everyone ,except me.I'm so gonna dream about someone and miss em but I'm so so so okay with them not being here.them or anyone else!

It feels great! I'm still self absorbed, probably more than before, if you think about it. But, no more having the lowest of lows cuz of not having a dream come true...I think I'm beginning to see and accept how life works and be contented with it..Maybe, happy even!"

"ok, so if you mean that I'm not gonna try harder cuz i just start accepting things the way they are,well...I didnt say I'll stop dreaming and running after my dreams.Just that i'll stop sulking..Less than usual.

I dont know if this is just a phase or I've finally learnt to detach myself from some things, making predictions come true.I'm just finally ok with not having anyone around .It doesnt mean I wont ever feel like it, but I know now, more so than before, that life is because of the people around you, but also because of how you are when you're with em..If its not goin well, I'd rather be alone than be on a lookout all the time!"

But, it doesnt mean I'm being someone else now, just to be able to fit in...i'm myself with everyone but the realisation takes it a notch higher! :)

ahem..losing grace, if u will..

following the last episode of "lost", had intentions of puttin up somethin positive and happy cuz i was feelin it..alas! procrastination got the better of me..now the phase is over too..but here's a promise to myself,it'll definitely find its place on the recipe board of soul cooking..

but some kinda ranting was long overdue..just makin a comeback..or somethin like that..

feeling one way or another but always returning to the one way,
the one which leads to u.
no streets or headlights,no sunshine too...


the ride seems longer with every passing wink,
one huge vaccum,one huge wall,and i cannot recall;
did i try hard enough!?
did i look deep enough!?
is this wat u call being lost!?


looking thru the looking glass till the glass turned misty..
beads of month old vapour wiping it away..
the air putrid with fear,loss and eternal pain..
fear born out of being poisoned,
loss born out of the yield..
pain of repentance born out of playin too hard on the field..


i'm sorry too...

P.S: listenin to 'why does it always rain on me' by travis..words just drifted out..they dont seem to make sense all together but u gotta use a LOOKING GLASS ;)